This is a topic that I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to dabble in or not. Why? Because everyone has a different take, opinion, or feeling when it comes to relationships. Some avoid relationships like the plague, while others simply can’t fathom the thought of ever being alone! But, with it being February I figured that no time would be more appropriate to get into such a topic! Quick disclaimer, I’m not a relationship guru by any means! I don’t have it all figured out, and I’m constantly learning about love every single day myself. I’ve shared my own story because some of you may be experiencing the same or similar situations, and I know just how heightened those feelings can be this month.
February is widely considered the Month Of Love, and everywhere you go you’ll see images of loved up couples blissfully intertwined. Commercials advertising everything from jewelry, chocolates, romantic getaways, and flowers will be shown on a constant loop. February brings along the illusion that everyone who is anyone is hopelessly in love! But, that’s just not always the case. Take it from someone who spent countless February’s minus a plus one! Being surrounded by the constant reminder of love when you’ve been a permanent resident in ‘singleville‘ can make the shortest month, feel like the longest! Although, hitting up the reduced candy aisles after Valentine’s Day definitely helped to ease the pain of spending it alone. Now I’m not going to pretend as if being single year after year didn’t bother me sometimes, because it did. I would joke around with my friends and claim that when soulmates were created, I somehow got left out. But after years of being single, it really started to feel that way. Was I ever going to find someone? Was there something wrong with me? The older I got the more those type of negative thoughts were quickly erased. Being single for so long taught me how to love myself fully and unapologetically!
My friends would often call me ‘picky’ or say that I came off ‘unapproachable’. Which may all be true, but in my mind, I’ve always known what type of love I deserved. Though that didn’t stop me from making some bad choices in the love department over the years, but hey you live and you learn. I’m no saint by any means, but hooking up and casual dating has just never interested me. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and sought out more than just a warm body to fill my bed. The biggest issue I found with dating in high-school or even as a young adult is that often guys would expect more than I was willing to allow. My motto is and has always been that if you wanted to date me, then you’d date me and not my body! That’s a personal choice that I made early on, and I’ve stuck with it mostly (again, not a saint). As you can imagine, not a whole lot of adolescent guys are wanting to hear that, when they can easily just go and get it from someone else. Which brings me to this… I never had a boyfriend in school. At that age, being in a relationship can feel like one of the most important tasks to accomplish! You’re surrounded by peers who love to constantly show off their ‘affection’, or those that continuously brag about who they’re dating from week to week. I went to prom both years, with a group of friends and had the best time. I watched my friends date and go through the typical high-school on and off again relationships. But, little ole’ me was always single. Would I have liked to have a high-school boyfriend? Yes. However, my years in school were not tainted by my lack of significant other in the slightest. I pretty much got along with everyone, and got involved in everything! Back then I felt like some kind of adolescent failure for not having that high-school relationship experience. I was convinced that I’d be forever alone and just didn’t understand why I was never asked out. I realize now just how foolish I was for allowing myself to get upset over not being asked out by a high-school boy.
If I could go back and tell my younger self a few things about love, here’s what I’d say. The number of relationships that you’re in does not determine who you are, or how successful your love life will ultimately be! You don’t have to settle or lower your standards just to get someone to like you. If you do, then that person is not worthy of your time and certainly not worthy of your lady bits. Cliche, but so true! I’ve wasted a lot of time investing in people who were simply not worthy of the attention! But it’s through those failed attempts at love that I’ve learned more about myself, and I’ve learned what kind of person is worthy of my heart.
I found that person in Kevin, my boyfriend of almost three years! Going into this relationship I was so cautious and a little hesitant to fully open myself up. I’d gotten so used to being independent, and functioning alone. Plus, I just didn’t want to be let down when things ultimately didn’t work out as it had time and time again. When Kevin and I met, I was at a phase in my life where I was no longer looking for someone. My thoughts on a relationship were that if it was meant to be, it would happen. Kevin and I hit it off immediately, and those walls that I had built around my heart came down way sooner than even I expected! I’ve experienced some of the best moments of my life with him, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us!
Never settle for less than you deserve, and be patient. Greatness takes time! Anyone can have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but seek someone who you know that without a shadow of a doubt will truly be there during the highs and the lows. Someone who will get you flowers and show how much they love and appreciate you 365 days a year, not just on Valentine’s Day!
a little something for your pintrest board