let’s talk about love

This is a topic that I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to dabble in or not. Why? Because everyone has a different take, opinion, or feeling when it comes to relationships. Some avoid relationships like the plague, while others simply can’t fathom the thought of ever being alone! But, with it being February I figured that no time would be more appropriate to get into such a topic! Quick disclaimer, I’m not a relationship guru by any means! I don’t have it all figured out, and I’m constantly learning about love every single day myself. I’ve shared my own story because some of you may be experiencing the same or similar situations, and I know just how heightened those feelings can be this month.

February is widely considered the Month Of Love, and everywhere you go you’ll see images of loved up couples blissfully intertwined. Commercials advertising everything from jewelry, chocolates, romantic getaways, and flowers will be shown on a constant loop. February brings along the illusion that everyone who is anyone is hopelessly in love! But, that’s just not always the case. Take it from someone who spent countless February’s minus a plus one! Being surrounded by the constant reminder of love when you’ve been a permanent resident in ‘singleville‘ can make the shortest month, feel like the longest! Although, hitting up the reduced candy aisles after Valentine’s Day definitely helped to ease the pain of spending it alone. Now I’m not going to pretend as if being single year after year didn’t bother me sometimes, because it did. I would joke around with my friends and claim that when soulmates were created, I somehow got left out. But after years of being single, it really started to feel that way. Was I ever going to find someone? Was there something wrong with me? The older I got the more those type of negative thoughts were quickly erased. Being single for so long taught me how to love myself fully and unapologetically!

My friends would often call me ‘picky’ or say that I came off ‘unapproachable’. Which may all be true, but in my mind, I’ve always known what type of love I deserved. Though that didn’t stop me from making some bad choices in the love department over the years, but hey you live and you learn. I’m no saint by any means, but hooking up and casual dating has just never interested me. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and sought out more than just a warm body to fill my bed. The biggest issue I found with dating in high-school or even as a young adult is that often guys would expect more than I was willing to allow. My motto is and has always been that if you wanted to date me, then you’d date me and not my body! That’s a personal choice that I made early on, and I’ve stuck with it mostly (again, not a saint). As you can imagine, not a whole lot of adolescent guys are wanting to hear that, when they can easily just go and get it from someone else. Which brings me to this… I never had a boyfriend in school. At that age, being in a relationship can feel like one of the most important tasks to accomplish! You’re surrounded by peers who love to constantly show off their ‘affection’, or those that continuously brag about who they’re dating from week to week. I went to prom both years, with a group of friends and had the best time. I watched my friends date and go through the typical high-school on and off again relationships. But, little ole’ me was always single. Would I have liked to have a high-school boyfriend? Yes. However, my years in school were not tainted by my lack of significant other in the slightest. I pretty much got along with everyone, and got involved in everything! Back then I felt like some kind of adolescent failure for not having that high-school relationship experience. I was convinced that I’d be forever alone and just didn’t understand why I was never asked out. I realize now just how foolish I was for allowing myself to get upset over not being asked out by a high-school boy.

If I could go back and tell my younger self a few things about love, here’s what I’d say. The number of relationships that you’re in does not determine who you are, or how successful your love life will ultimately be! You don’t have to settle or lower your standards just to get someone to like you. If you do, then that person is not worthy of your time and certainly not worthy of your lady bits. Cliche, but so true! I’ve wasted a lot of time investing in people who were simply not worthy of the attention! But it’s through those failed attempts at love that I’ve learned more about myself, and I’ve learned what kind of person is worthy of my heart.

I found that person in Kevin, my boyfriend of almost three years! Going into this relationship I was so cautious and a little hesitant to fully open myself up. I’d gotten so used to being independent, and functioning alone. Plus, I just didn’t want to be let down when things ultimately didn’t work out as it had time and time again. When Kevin and I met, I was at a phase in my life where I was no longer looking for someone. My thoughts on a relationship were that if it was meant to be, it would happen. Kevin and I hit it off immediately, and those walls that I had built around my heart came down way sooner than even I expected! I’ve experienced some of the best moments of my life with him, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us!

Never settle for less than you deserve, and be patient. Greatness takes time! Anyone can have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but seek someone who you know that without a shadow of a doubt will truly be there during the highs and the lows. Someone who will get you flowers and show how much they love and appreciate you 365 days a year, not just on Valentine’s Day!

 

 

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14 Comments

  1. February 13, 2019 / 6:09 pm

    I definitely agree that showing your love and appreciation for your partner should be done year-round rather than just on Valentines! Loved this post, you had some great points – especially about loving yourself unapologetically.
    El | Welsh Wanderer

  2. February 9, 2019 / 9:11 am

    Love this post! When I was in high school, I used to hate seeing everybody in relationships. I wanted one soo bad. And when i finally got one, he turned out to be terrible. Fast forward to now,and the last thing I want in my life is a relationship. If only I could talk to my younger self and tell her not to worry about that stuff.

  3. February 8, 2019 / 6:23 am

    Aw I love this post! I was the same, whilst my friends went through the on and off relationships I never had a boyfriend at school. I met jack (who I have been with for just over 1 and a half years) at the end of my first year in sixth form! Have a lovely February:)

    • simplyanjhanee
      Author
      February 10, 2019 / 1:01 pm

      Thank you so much for the love! Aww, wishing you and Jack the best, and have a lovely February as well! ☺️

      • February 10, 2019 / 2:00 pm

        Haha aw thank you so much!!

  4. February 7, 2019 / 4:57 pm

    I totally understand your points, thanks for sharing this great post. My friends call me picky as well and much worse 😂 But the day will come for all of us (or not and it’s still fine).

    • simplyanjhanee
      Author
      February 10, 2019 / 1:05 pm

      Hey, rather be picky than settle for anyone and anything! And, in today’s dating world you NEED to be picky?! Lol. 😬 Thank you so much for the love!

  5. February 7, 2019 / 12:48 am

    Yes girl! Never settle. If someone doesn’t respect you and your choices they are not worth being around and certainly not someone you’d want to share such an intimate part of yourself with. I didn’t have a boyfriend during high school either and there were times I might have liked it but I was focused on my exams and work and knew it would happen when it was meant to. I go in to love with the hope I will find who I’m suppose to and it’ll work itself out. Aside from being a kind, honest, loving person who doesn’t cheat and cause pain it’s a waiting game at times and while it can get frustrating and a little lonely I have a strange belief it’ll be ok one day and I’ll be happy 🙂

    • simplyanjhanee
      Author
      February 7, 2019 / 1:30 pm

      It’ll all happen when it’s meant to! I’m exactly the same way, and when I love I love hard! But hey, gotta’ kiss the frogs before you get your prince. Thank you so much for the love! (:

  6. February 6, 2019 / 3:42 pm

    Preach!!! I can definitely relate to this (except for the latter part lol) but I know that I will at the right time. Great read!

    • simplyanjhanee
      Author
      February 7, 2019 / 1:24 pm

      Exactly, just takes a little patience. Lol. Thank you so much for the love! (:

  7. February 6, 2019 / 2:45 pm

    I was married for 17yrs, and I’ve been single almost 8! Yes I do get extremely lonely at times, but I also enjoy it just being me. I would love to have a boyfriend, because I do miss male companionship. But dating is so different these days! Wishing you and Kevin the best!💜💜

    • simplyanjhanee
      Author
      February 7, 2019 / 11:47 am

      Dating today is so ‘casual’. Most people want to date you and two others all at the same time. Like thanks, but no. Thank you so much for the love! 💜

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